Introduction

Who's willing to work at growing up?

Part 1: Understanding the relationship foundations of adult maturity

1. Becoming a self in our relationships

2. Real maturity or pretend maturity

3. Family ties that bind

Part 2: Maturity for the first half of adult life

4. Leaving home and growing up

5. The single young adult

6. How marriage can grow people

7. Sex for grown-ups

8. Grown-up parenting

Part 3: Being a grown-up beyond family

9. Off to work we go

10. Developing mature beliefs

Part 4: Nurturing maturity in the face of set backs

11. Separation and divorce

12. Symptoms and setbacks

Part 5: Maturity enhancement in the second half of life

13. Midlife

14. Ageing well

15. Old age and facing death

Part 6: Broadening the focus

16. The grown-up helper

17. Society and self

Epilogue

Appendix 1: Summary questions for reflection

Appendix 2: Mature connection and separateness

Appendix 3: What are guiding principles?

Appendix 4: Differentiation of self as a continuum

Appendix 5: How to construct your family diagram

Appendix 6: An overview of human development across the lifespan from a Bowen family systems perspective

Appendix 7: Some Biblical reflections on relationships

Notes

Bibliography and further reading

Acknowledgements

Index

Growing Yourself Up

How to bring your best to all of life’s relationships